UFC to add youth division, first kids’ fight added to UFC 239 fight card
Shocking news comes out of the UFC headquarters in Las Vegas this morning as UFC President Dana White has announced the promotion will introduce a new youth division beginning this summer. UFC officials hope to book their first children’s fight during the company’s annual International Fight Week blockbuster which includes the UFC 239 fight card.
“The time is now,” White said. “We hired a new marketing guy the other day and I asked him to come up with a few ideas that would help keep butts in seats now that Conor McGregor has announced his retirement. This guy is pure genius. Before we even showed him to his office he says, ‘hey boss… what about kid fights?'”
Given the sport’s rise in popularity—one study ranked it as the sixth most popular sport in the U.S.—it shouldn’t come as a surprise that MMA would eventually trickle down to the kiddie level. After all, there are few things children enjoy more than beating the shit out of each other.
The UFC President said that talent scouts are already searching middle school parking lots and playgrounds for any fights that may break out.
“We are in the middle of developing technology that will help notify our matchmakers of certain keywords that kids are using on social media that might help us identify when a fight is about to go down,” White said. “We need every advantage we can get in this new market. We don’t want little Johnny signing with Bellator or ONE Championship.”
While White wouldn’t reveal the entire list of trigger words that set these kiddos off, MyMMANews was able to confirm that ‘Fortnite,’ ‘Bye Felicia,’ and ‘Snapchat’ are a few of the verbal igniters.
When asked who the first competitors might be and if they would need parent permission to step foot inside the octagon, White said he could not name names just yet.
“We’re looking at a few kids right now,” White said. “As far as the parents go… they need to ask themselves one important question…. ‘Do you want your kids to be a f**king fighter?”
No word yet as to whether USADA will test the kids for multi-vitamins.
UFC 239 takes place July 6 at the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Oh…. by the way….
APRIL FOOLS’
