Ricky Simon Confirms Pooping In Front of USADA Is Easier Than Peeing

Perennial UFC bantamweight contender Ricky Simon confirmed today that cooking a butt burrito is easier than peeing in front of USADA on Twitter today. Simon, who is 18-3, has a fight coming up on the December 12th card against Raphael Assunção. Check out Simon’s tweet below:

MMA media, and any other media for that matter, makes an entire article out of a single tweet so I thought I could too. Simon confirmed that he is still in the USADA testing pool and being tested regularly.

Ricky Simon telling us the real facts

Speaking of regular, he also confirmed his bowels are working as well. It’s good to know that Simon is making regular deposits to the porcelain bank and prairie dogging too long can cause Simon to lead to constipation. Having a trained professional from USADA to check out his process and make sure all is well is an added bonus.

Fortunately, Ricky Simon was able to squeeze it off, like he squeezed Gaetano Pirrello’s head off with an arm triangle, and submit his sample with all the eyes on him. After dropping the kids off at the swimming pool, Simon was presumably able to train a hard day’s work for his upcoming fight. Assuncao better watch out because Simon is out here dropping dirty bombs.

While it’s believed Ricky Simon is the man to take the Browns to the Super Bowl, it’s believed that he will be in contract dispute to sign due to his UFC commitments.

In all honesty, writing articles on tweets is pretty lame. I’ve done it in the past and it just plain sucks. But this one, I couldn’t pass the opportunity up and didn’t see many taking up this tweet to write up as a story. I hope you got a laugh out of this like I did writing it. Poop jokes are the best.

Ricky, I know you’re reading this, good luck on December 12th! Don’t have a shitty performance!

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